Vegas Has Better Coffee Than Your Bank

 I'm ashamed to say, one of my ambitions in life is to gamble, go to Vegas and gamble. I've watched people gamble, as in playing card games. I noticed that you have to be immensely smart to win this game. If you're cunning, sly, and the god of luck is on your side, Vegas has a table with your name on it. 

Life's a gamble, yada yada ya. This is bullshit; life is a gamble if you decide it is. But personally, my "life's gamble" is the clothes I buy, it's just never my size, either too small, too big, too revealing or suddenly I look like Mother Teresa on casual Fridays. Can I never rock a good outfit without looking like I stole it from someone tall's closet? 

"Petite" clothing brands are the reason I have trust issues, ain't nothing petite about 'em. Petite now means “cut to fit a malnourished giraffe.” The only place I fit into jeans without alterations is H&M kids. Don't get me wrong, the kids' section comes with a range of perks, where else can I find colour-changing sequinned unicorn tops? But the embarrassment tops everything, and half-price-of-the-adults-section is a close second. Whoever fits into clothes without alterations, I'm convinced you're God's favourites, and I'm very, very jealous of you. But I guess life's a gamble now, but so are my pants.

Like clothes, most of us make another gamble in life, banks. We trust the bank and deposit money there, not only money, even gold and jewellery. We trust our money is safer there than in our homes. Two of the most common excuses for trusting your money with the bank are- one, your money won't get "stolen", and two, it has a longer life span in the bank than in your wallet. But let’s be real — banks are just Vegas with better PR and worse coffee. And did we learn nothing from Money Heist? 

"I'm a good person, I'm a kind person, today I will tone down my honesty," I constantly tell myself this every day. In other words, it's a lie I constantly tell myself :) Just like how we tell ourselves the money in the bank vault won't go missing. But in life, we have to take some risks, just like how we don't live on a timeline. Here's why some people believe banks are gambling with our money. We've all heard the story about Kingfisher Airlines. Where do you think banks got that much money to loan to the airline? A secret bank vault? If you think so, I pity your innocent soul.

Right now, I suggest you go get yourself a glass of cold water to swallow this pill- your bank is just a classy casino. Banks don't store all your money; they lend most of it. This is called fractional reserve banking. Basically, what this means is, if you deposit 1000rs into the bank, they'll keep 100rs and lend 900rs. So basically, your bank account shows the balance, but it's not actually there. So, one fine day, if we all decide to withdraw the money from our bank accounts, we'll successfully be able to break the system. And no, John, the bank can't print more money or just pretend there is enough in our accounts. World peace would be a thing if life were such a bore.

Banks give out loans, hoping that these big shots will pay back our money with interest. Just like how my grandmother believes the promise I made to her about only eating chicken once a week. Some banks don't stop at lending; they invest. And when they make bad investment choices, they call it an "investment strategy". And what happens when these bigshots who never had an intention of paying back the money, don't pay the money? Nothing, they flee to another continent on their private jets, which we basically paid for and buy off a new citizenship. And what happens to the "Vegas" with bad coffee, you may ask, they don't suffer, obviously, we do. Governments bail them out using taxpayer money. It hurts to know my college tuition is paying for someone else's private jet, and my mom will curse me out to my next life when she learns this information.

So, decide if you want to go to Vegas or the bank, because Vegas does have better coffee and Hell's Kitchen.