2 Truths And Endless Lies

 No one is an open book, torn pages, at most. You could tear pages with excellent precision, but the tiny remnants of the pages will always stay, right in the binding of the book, to remind you that everything must come out one day. The slivers of your past will always haunt the options for your future; forgetting your past, erasing it, even, may work as a temporary fix. But what if your past is just lurking, waiting for the right moment to corner you, to tie you down? What will you do then? Run again? Change your name and turn into a redhead? Or will you face it? Me? Personally, I'd run like a preschooler when it's time to go home.

Everyone lies, ok? Northeastern University sends me emails every day about how I should apply and how they have a place for me. That's a lie, because it's not guaranteed. I've noticed that some people are so good at putting on a show, maintaining a whole different personality, a façade. It's always the ones we least expect; some are Oscar-worthy actors, they're running an entire circus, and here we're stupid clowns performing stunts on elephants. However, there is one hell of a difference between a liar, a schemer, and a private person. And what's wrong with a schemer, you may ask? I only have one piece of advice for you: run. 

Some people are like this stubborn spot on my shiny, clean surface that I just can't seem to get rid of. But thanks to them, I'm decently patient. I've hated liars for as long as I can remember, and despise the feeling stupid, and these people have the knack for making me feel so. 

I don't doubt my friends; I believe their wild stories, I trust their instinct, and I believe they wouldn't hurt me. I did so for the longest time. I'm not even kidding, I wasn't naive, I was stupid. Maybe I still am. For the longest time, I thought everyone was a good person, that there were situations that made a person bad, then what are serial killers? Angels with mommy issues? I was stupid enough to think that everyone around me had good intentions, that they could only think good things for their friends. 

And the most embarrassing part, I actually bought the whole, "distance doesn't define our bond, we'll be friends forever" bullshit, the fact that I actually waited for them to text and call, now thats really embarrassing. Sometimes, when the people I assumed were my closest people lied to me, I chose to ignore it. They did terrible things, and I forgave them. But when I realised that they aren't doing this for any good reason, instead just for the thrill of it, I snapped. And that marks the day I said goodbye,  because I don't need negative energy in my life. No thanks.

One must know, when someone lies to protect their feelings or yours, that is acceptable, we're human after all. But when someone lies just because they can, hit 'em.

To all my god's social service angels, your work on earth is unresponsive. Let me put this nicely, you aren't god's favourite helper, he didn't send you on earth to change the unchangeable spawns of satan. He especially didn't send you so you could think "I could fix them" No, you can not; they're not a broken dishwasher, and they aren't as simple as an IKEA instruction manual. For sure, god doesn't want you to get hurt, run before they fix you, and before the next thing you end up is a nun.

Look, love, in all seriousness, the only mental health aesthetic I'm for is "healing but still petty". Honestly, I advise acting like Buddha every time someone hurts you, don't waste your energy on half-minded people, you're better than them. But there are some exceptions: liars, schemers and jerks. For these people, bring out your pettiest. Petty here is repeating exactly what they did to you. Forgive them, don't make a scene, and then ditch them. Here.

See, I'm not implying I don't lie, I do, but only to my mother, because I'm bloody scared that she'd beat me for all the stunts I pull, and she literally doesn't buy them, so it doesn't count. Jokes aside, I don't feel the need to lie; I feel absolute guilt and heaviness in my chest when I lie, I would never lie so bad that it would distress someone, that makes you a beast. I've always believed hell and heaven are both places on earth; you either create heaven or hell for yourself, and bullying others to make yourself seem bigger won't keep you happy for long. Look, trust is fragile, people are shady, and your self-respect must be above all. Don't create hell for others just because that's your only surroundings. 

Let me tell you two truths: 1. You come first. 2. Remember number 1.

P.S. All these stunts don't make you a mysterious bad boy; every book character goes for. It makes you suspicious. Life ain't Vampire Diaries, and you ain't no Damon Salvatore.