Nothing Is Ever Enough For You

 I think grief is the strongest emotion out there. Not anger, not pride, but grief. Because nothing forces you to grow up overnight like grief does. The feeling of utter helplessness, when you know some things just can't be undone. 

Someone said, "If I hold her once, I'll be content." Once he got to hold her, he realised he could never be content with just holding her for a moment; maybe not even every minute of his life was enough. It's addictive, isn't it? Care, love and affection? Holding your newborn for a heartbeat isn't enough. The walk you said would be the last with your grandmother isn't enough. The last time you braided your sister's hair wasn't enough. The fight you swore would be the last with your brother wasn't enough. The five minutes you beg for once they're gone will never be enough.

Grief doesn't always come with a bouquet and a white dress for you to mourn a death. It could be a shove that you must grow up; that there are bigger problems out there than not fulfilling your overambitious dream of being an all-star. Grief is a slap in your face that knocks you outta that bubble you created. It doesn't care about fitting in with your to-do list. It couldn't care less.

 Maybe grief is the most ruthless slayer.

But one must know that sorrow and grief aren't the same. Grief is a reflection of your sorrow. Sorrow lingers in your heart, grief alters the rhythm. Sorrow might be a whisper of uncertainty, but grief screams for you to see reality.

Growing up doesn't only happen once you're legal; it can happen at ten, fifteen, or even fifty. Situations don't check if you're on the path to maturity or not. People don't change overnight, and growing up doesn't happen overnight. It happens in a span of a few seconds. The shove of growth happens when you least expect it, regardless of whether you need it or not.

I heard someone say that with touch comes shove. Hate to break it to you, ain't no touch. Only a shove. Prepare yourself for heartbreak; let it come organically, but prepare. Prepare for failure; you can't win every time. Prepare for change; you can't predict the next moment.

And most importantly, live in the now. Stop stressing about what's next. What happens happens. Bury your ego, call your friends. Nothing could be weird with family, hug them, talk to them, realise them. You only know the value once they're gone. One can never prepare for someone's absence, let alone someone you love. We subconsciously believe that the people we love will always stay, but will they? They don't. Cherish the time you have with them. Some things are more important than money, fame and new friends.

You have graduated to a level where no one can help if you don't grieve at a loved one's death or absence. If you say things like "that's unfortunate, but what can we do now?"," he was old"," she was in pain, she's at peace now". No. She loved you. He raised you. The only unfortunate thing was that they loved you. I get that people grieve differently, without crying and wailing. But what about the ones who sit right there and ignore the scene? Can you at least try to look remorseful?