Relevance is a disease, but I'm not sick.

 Have you ever been told to stand out to get noticed, but never told how?

Like, what do I have to do? Stand on my tippy toes and hold a sign over my head that says, "Give me a chance, I'm desperate!!" I heard the key to getting noticed is to get humiliated. Have a crowd full of people stare you down, watch your every step, and discuss your every step, and then voila, you hear stories about you that never happened—and creative ones, for the record. Does that make you relevant? Maybe important, perhaps even a topic of discussion. I've always had trouble standing out, I've always been the one in the shadows, of the shadows. Never the centre of anything, I did try, I tried to get out there and be loud, but now I've made peace with the fact that nothing could make me stand out, I think I quite like the shadows. Because there is never a show without your background support. And do help me understand why being in the shadows is shameful? I just don't get it. I thought being loud could bring me opportunities, but now I know, opportunities come your way when you truly deserve them, so in the end, you do you. 

You know what, I actually love the shadows. It's my own definition of home sweet home, it's one place where you can be yourself, and no one would realise your existence, you won't be watched, judged, or even noticed. The shadows are an introvert's heaven. And more importantly, I wouldn't have to be nice to people I don't like, and don't have to entertain people. I've realised that when you're in the spotlight, all eyes are on you, always, at all times. You have to maintain the perfect image, smile at people you don't like, and if you hang out with "uncool kids", that's social suicide. Life is honestly so hard when you're popular, especially if you're popular for the wrong reasons. But kudos to them for doing all this and still looking effortlessly cool. But sometimes it really gets to you, the stress, the frustration, and sometimes they tend to hurt others to feel better about themselves, not only them, it's all of us sometimes.

The fame game is like a nasty infection; you get the thrill of a bad disease without actually having it. It isn't for the weak; for some, the touch of this infection once is enough to know the thrill is not worth all the IV drips and constant sneezing. Overdo it, and you might end up having seizures. For all its worth, I think having peace of mind is more important than fame and popularity. I certainly don't want people sticking gum on my posters, because like ew. We've been told to "live", hell, I've told people to "live", but now I realise maybe existing isn't all that bad, but if you decide to live, live for you, even if it's in the shadows. This reminds me of that TV show, "Adolescence", for those who didn't watch the masterpiece, what are you even doing? That show basically shows how a teenager behaves to stay relevant, or even to have that 5 minutes of fame, to be a cool kid, always in the spotlight and the pressure to do what others do to feel "normal". One wrong move, like talking sense into your friends about not smoking cigarettes, and you're out and an outcast. Though ain't it, saving your lungs, liver and your social life. Our generation has it hard.

There's this show I really liked, "Carmen Sandiego", and no, I'm not embarrassed, I was watching 7+ cartoons up until I was fourteen, I was very disappointed when they cancelled that show, if it was still running, I'd be watching it. I just loved the vibe, being a secret spy, wearing those cool spy clothes, vanishing in a second, chasing bad guys and wearing those big black glasses. It's a vibe, ok, and I was so invested. Anyways, back to the topic, recently I came across this reel, this man talks about his meeting with a former RAW agent, for those who don't know what RAW is, they're basically government secret spies. I'd kill to have their job, I know I'm saying this without knowing the baggage, but considering my physical fitness, I'd never make the cut, so let a girl dream. The thing is, I love how we'd never know the agent beside us, that's so cool. That's a cool kid in my eyes.

So, this guy asked the former RAW agent, "Sir, why do you do what you do? Why did you do what you did?" The former RAW agent replied simply with, "I follow no rules, there might be no morality in what I do, but my sworn dharma is to protect India." he even added how he'd go great lengths to protect his country, I think there are many heroes in the shadows silently protecting us who are un-credited for. I think sometimes we fail to recognise what a lavish life we live, and only spend time cursing at what we don't have; we truly don't appreciate our country enough. I think we should start by acknowledging the silent heroes who are the sole reason we sleep peacefully every night, and that's a luxury to some. A shadow never leaves your side, follows you around like a shield we fail to notice. We fail to realise that development, the flow of money, and all these tall buildings only happen if we're protected; these heroes protect everything, from the economy to us. India has a long way to go before the big developments happen. What we need is a mental revolution, a change of mindset that teaches us to be thankful for what we have. I honestly think we're the only country that acts like an ungrateful brat. Gratitude is just what we lack, which shows in our individual personalities, too. They do all this and are still irrelevant? Then what is relevance? 

Relevance is a disease, but I'm not sick.